Ten best man speech writing tips that will actually improve your speech.
Less 'be yourself' and more specific, actionable guidance on what makes the difference.
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Best man speech tips are usually vague. Here are ten that are actually specific and practical — covering the writing, the structure, the tone, and the delivery.
What a Speech Smith speech looks like
A short sample — your speech will be personalised to your stories and people.
The ten tips in brief: 1. Start with your toast and work backwards. 2. Use one story told fully rather than three told quickly. 3. Specific details are always funnier than vague references. 4. Write the opening and closing last. 5. Read it aloud before you think it's finished. 6. Cut anything that needs explaining to work. 7. The couple section should show, not tell. 8. Address the bride by name. 9. Practise until it feels familiar, not memorised. 10. Time it. If it's over seven minutes, cut it.
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Names, your relationship, a few key memories, and the tone you want — honest details make the best speeches.
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What makes this speech work
Every detail you share becomes part of your speech. Here's what to think about.
Write the toast first — then build backwards
The most effective best man speeches have a clear destination. Writing your final toast first means every story, every observation, and every opening line can point towards it.
If a line needs explaining, cut it
The mark of a well-written speech line is that it lands without context. If you find yourself thinking 'I'll need to set this up first...' the joke probably isn't strong enough to earn the setup.
Show the couple together — don't just describe them
Instead of 'he's totally different with her', describe the specific moment you noticed the change. One observed detail is worth more than a paragraph of claims.
Address the bride by her name, not just as 'the bride'
This sounds small but it's important. Using her name in a specific, warm sentence immediately shows the room — and her — that you mean what you're saying.
Cut everything that would still be in the speech if it were written about someone else
If a line could appear in any best man speech, it shouldn't be in yours. Every line should only work for this specific groom, this specific friendship, and this specific day.
Frequently asked questions
The story in the middle. Everything else can be adequate — the opening, the bride section, the toast — and a great central story will carry the whole speech. Get that right first.
Use the exact words you'd actually use in conversation, not the slightly more formal words you think a speech should use. The more it sounds like you talking, the better it will be.
If it comes naturally, yes. If you're forcing it, no — a sincere speech delivered with warmth will always beat a comedy speech delivered with uncertainty.
When you can deliver it start to finish without looking at notes more than twice, when it runs under six minutes, and when the parts you thought were good still feel good on the fifth read-through.
Too long. The speech that runs ten minutes when seven would have been perfect will be remembered as the one that went on — not the one that was excellent.
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