How to write a best man speech — a practical, step-by-step guide.
Not theoretical advice. A real process for getting from a blank page to a speech you're confident about.
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Most best man speech guides tell you what to say without telling you how to find it. This is the practical process: starting from scratch, building the content, shaping the structure, and ending with something you can actually deliver.
What a Speech Smith speech looks like
A short sample — your speech will be personalised to your stories and people.
The five-step process: Step 1: Gather the material Write down every memory, story, and observation about the groom you can think of. Don't filter yet. Set a timer for twenty minutes and just write. Step 2: Choose your best three From everything you've written, find the one story that best reveals his character. Find two others that support it. The rest is trim. Step 3: Plan the shape Opening → Main story → Couple section → Toast. Fill each section with your chosen material before you write a single sentence of the actual speech. Step 4: Write it out Write a full draft using your plan. Don't edit as you go. Get it all out first. Step 5: Read it aloud and cut Read the full draft out loud. Time it. Anything that felt flat when spoken should go. Aim for 4–6 minutes.
Sample only. Your speech is written from the specific details, stories, and names you provide.
How it works
Tell us your story
Names, your relationship, a few key memories, and the tone you want — honest details make the best speeches.
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What makes this speech work
Every detail you share becomes part of your speech. Here's what to think about.
Start by writing without filtering — edit later
The best material for best man speeches usually surfaces in the first unguarded writing session. Don't assess as you go. Write everything, then choose the best.
Choose the story that reveals the most about his character
Not the funniest story. Not the most extreme story. The one that most accurately shows who he is — his loyalty, his humour, his specific brand of generosity. That story is the speech.
Write the toast before you write the opening
Knowing where the speech ends gives you a destination. Everything you write before the toast should feel like it's building towards that final line.
Read it aloud before finalising
Speeches written to be read and speeches written to be spoken are different things. A sentence that looks fine on paper can feel long and stilted when said out loud. Reading aloud is not optional.
Give it to someone honest to review
The person who will tell you if something doesn't land is more useful than the person who tells you it's great. Find someone who'll be honest and listen to the parts they flag.
Frequently asked questions
Six to eight weeks before the wedding, ideally. That gives you time to write a draft, let it settle, revise it, practise it, and still have weeks to refine.
Start by writing down every memory of the groom you have — unfiltered, unordered. The material is always there; the writing process is about surfacing and shaping it.
At least ten times out loud, ideally more. The first few runs will feel awkward. By the tenth, you'll have found your natural pace and know where the laughs land.
Write it in full first. Then, if it helps, reduce it to bullet points for delivery. Some people deliver better with a full script; others with notes. Find out in rehearsal which works for you.
Speech Smith takes your stories and material and writes the speech from it. You provide the raw material — the memories, the relationship, the tone — and it shapes it into something well-structured and natural.
Start writing your speech today.
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