A best man speech for a groom who hates speeches — quick, warm, and kind.
He's not going to enjoy this regardless. Your job is to make the discomfort as brief and as warm as possible.
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Some grooms genuinely dread the speech section of their own wedding. If yours is one of them, the best gift you can give him is a speech that's short, focused, says the important things, and gets him back to his glass as quickly as possible.
What a Speech Smith speech looks like
A short sample — your speech will be personalised to your stories and people.
Three opening lines: 1. "Good evening. Before I start, I want to acknowledge that Marcus is currently staring at a fixed point on the wall and thinking about something else entirely. That's fine. I'll be quick." 2. "Right. James asked me to make this brief, appropriate, and painless. I am going to try for all three. He knows how unusual that is from me." 3. "My name is Dan. I'm Tom's best man. Tom has asked me not to embarrass him. Tom and I have very different definitions of the word 'embarrass', and tonight we're going with mine."
Sample only. Your speech is written from the specific details, stories, and names you provide.
How it works
Tell us your story
Names, your relationship, a few key memories, and the tone you want — honest details make the best speeches.
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What makes this speech work
Every detail you share becomes part of your speech. Here's what to think about.
Acknowledge his discomfort once — then move past it
One warm, brief acknowledgement that he hates this kind of thing gets a good laugh and sets a tone of affection rather than exposure. Then get on with the speech — dwelling on it makes the discomfort worse.
Keep it tight — four minutes maximum
For a groom who genuinely dreads this, brevity is a genuine act of love. A four-minute speech that says the important things is better for him and usually better for the room than a six-minute one.
Focus on the things he'd actually want said
Ask yourself: what does he most want people to know about him today? What would he be genuinely proud to have said? That question focuses the speech on what matters and removes what doesn't.
Save the most direct sentiment for the last thirty seconds
Getting to the heartfelt section quickly doesn't give the room time to settle. Use the early section to warm them up, then say the real thing clearly at the end — when it will land hardest.
Tell him privately what you didn't say publicly
Some things don't belong in a speech for someone who values privacy. Note them down and tell him separately, at the end of the night. He'll value that more than having them announced.
Frequently asked questions
Focus on what he'd actually want said — not what would make the best speech in the abstract — and keep it shorter than you'd normally go. Respect for his preferences is itself a gift.
For a groom who hates speeches, yes. Knowing roughly what's coming reduces the anxiety. You don't need to read the whole thing — just tell him the tone and the main things you're going to say.
Absolutely. A four-minute speech that says what matters is perfectly appropriate. No one will be disappointed that the speech was concise — they'll be appreciative.
Leave it out. The speech is for the room and for him. A story that embarrasses him doesn't serve either purpose, however good the material is.
Yes — select the 'short' length option. The result will be a concise, focused speech that covers the essential elements without padding or unnecessary extension.
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